You know, despite the fact that 99% of youtube is acts of teenage stupidity, there’s rare…um..gems? Is gems really the right word? Well, shiny rocks, amidst the rubble. Here ya go.
Very basic premise. Corporations’ only function is to make money. They may masquerade it in as many fancy awards to the community as they can, but the sacrifices will be drops in the bucket compared to their enormous wealth. And when it comes to media networks and advertising agencies, they’re unfortunately no different, except for the fact that they want to change every single thing you do into a money generating activity. I’ll be updating with my own content soon enough, I’ve got a really good rant coming up.
Edit: After taking a look at this again I came at this from another angle. On a more personal level, powerful financial forces are betting on our daily internal battles. If the same company that sells you slim-fast sells you ice cream, what genuine hope do you actually have in losing weight? And not only that, but our daily struggles in being healthy and losing weight are nothing but a financial betting game to them. People are wrought with horrible self-esteem issues and to companies like Unilever, the war in people’s minds between self-restrictions and indulgence is just another way to benefit. So basically, what I’m trying to say is that Unilever watches you struggle with yourself on a daily basis and laughs.
Shout outs to Cooper B. for sending this to me. Lookadis.
“For over one hundred years, we’ve been scrunching and folding toilet paper. Finally there’s a better way!”
Really. I personally use bark and thistle bushes when I do my business and it’s pretty darn inconvenient. Please, tell me more.
“Comfort Wipe! The sanitary paper extension arm and holder!”
I like how you speak. It is pleasing to my ears, as I speak in your style frequently. When I go to the cafeteria for lunch I ask for fried poultry embryos mixed with in vegetation. Couldn’t you just call it a butt-wiper?
“Think about it. Toilet paper is really archaic and disgusting. The Comfort Wipe is a modern solution”
You know what else is really archaic and disgusting? Eating. I mean, sheesh, manual breaking down of food particles with your teeth? Those outdated hunks of calcium? Screw that! I want my meals liquefied. Sorry. I mean liquified. Yum.
I’m sorry. I just can’t buy it. The whole “using your hands to wipe your butt is insanitary” makes no sense if you just wash your hands. It isn’t a problem now, nor has it ever been a problem. No. A thousand times, no. This ad demonstrates a very simple point about the world we live in: our material needs are taken care of so well that salesmen are getting desperate. Now to make a quick buck we’re actually stooping so low as to imply that you need a butt wiper. And not only will we sell things you don’t need, but we’ll sell them by any means necessary. Call you up on your phone when you come home from work? Yes. Embed them into your TV shows and movies? Yes. Illegally put fliers up around town against zoning restrictions? Yes. Convince you that you’ll answer life questions and get an identity with the product? Yep. Even advertise to toddlers, who can’t even tell the difference between TV and advertising? Yep. There’s neither a method too low nor a product too unnecessary for advertisers to try to manipulate the way you think.
You probably have heard it from other people. Maybe. If they’ve got a single brain cell working or not. If not, let me spell it out for you: American elections have officially been round up, taken out back, shot and then sold to the highest bidder. The Supreme Court ruled today that corporations and unions can give as much money as they want to candidates, with no limitations. None. And yes, the Supreme Court did this. The Supreme Court? Are you sure? The most powerful and respected judges in America? With decades of experience under their belts and degrees from prestigious universities? Those legendary arbiters of truth and reason? Yes, they did this. They did this to us. The most powerful court in America has failed its citizens.
You don’t need to be a Political Science degree to know this is bad. You don’t need a seal of approval to have an opinion about where you think your country is going. You don’t need a goddamn permit to be outraged at this. You don’t need to be afraid of being called a conspiracy theorist if you’re worried about your country. The battle lines have been drawn. Our government has been so thoroughly infiltrated by Wall Street business executives that even appointed Supreme Court judges have been bought, and the politicans have been routinely dismantling everything this country stands for. (more…)
America isn't a healthy place. The lives that are socially acceptable for us to be living just aren't good for our bodies, our souls, or our planet. We eat food that we don't know what it's made out of, and then think we can fix it by eating more of it when it's got health claims. We send gift cards to each other, like we're incapable of telling someone how we feel about them. We hope death will go away if we just put on enough make-up. We even sell sexually revealing clothing to little girls. And at the end of the day, the simple thing is that a life built on these rules won't be satisfying or meaningful. This society provides never-ending insecurities, toys, and distractions, but not enough lessons on how to live your life proudly, and if you ever develop into a critical thinking, confident, and creative person you run against the current of thousands of advertisers and salesmen who want you to be an insecure and dependent consumer.
